I'm still searching for the perfect landlording vehicle. That's a car I actually like that I can drive around my tenants without them developing feelings of jealousy, resentment, and the general attitude that "she's making too much monetization off our high rents."

I can honestly say I don't like anything out there. And I've already been through the 2006 and 2007 issues of Best & Worst New Cars from Consumer Reports.

 

What happened to good design? Like my brother's 1967 GTO. That was a hot car. I think it really did help him get elected class president. It certainly didn't hurt. And I felt like royalty riding in it although he never would let me touch anything.

 

But now this lady driver certainly has a thing or two to tell GM.

Can't you just come up with something that's kind of like an SUV that gets great gas milage and has a decent interior that I can use my GM Card Earnings to get with a reasonable sticker? Please. How hard is that?

 

And what do you mean you're taking some my earnings away each month? That's just not right. After I faithfully used that credit card for seven years. It's not my fault you don't have what I want.

 

Honda, you're not off the hook either. Those 2007 CR-V's are ugly children. Spare us the baby pictures of your newest arrival. I don't know, but cute-yutes are not so darling and neither are their prices.

 

Of course I almost broke the landlord Vehicle Rule #1. Never drive a luxury automobile around your tenants.

But Cadillac was offering $4000 off for their Labor Day Sale and I stumbled across a dealer "generously" giving part of his incentive worth another $2300. Wow. That got me in.

 

I don't know why I can't ever get wise to this game. All they had was a purple 2006 CTS that was anywhere near what I was willing to spend. They can call it Blackberry if they want to, but it's still purple to me, especially in bright sunlight.

 

"Lady, we can put you in whatever you want. If we don't have it, we'll get it."

 

"Well, how about white?"

 

"That'll be another $995."

 

"What? What do you mean white cost $1000 more?"

 

"It's Diamond White."

 

"You mean it's got real diamond dust mixed in it?"

 

"No, but all our white cars have 17 coats of paint. So do our red ones."

 

I wanted it, as if I had just lost my mind.

 

Nope. There wasn't one left anywhere in North America. But they still had that Blackberry if I had possibly changed my mind.

 

Sorry for the pity party, but why can't car shopping be fun? You see a bargain. You grab it. But question is, what's a bargain?

 

I thought I had found one earlier at a Land Rover dealership, of all places. It wasn't one of those giant caterpillar cousins. You know like the ones they've got hanging perpendicularly over the front door. As if I want to see the undersides of those things.

 

But this was a station wagon type cute-yute made by another car company that they had taken as a trade-in. It was a 2004, only $20,000 with 24,000 miles on it. Fully loaded, it had everything from a navigational system to a miniature T.V. in the back seat for kids and leather seats. My first thought was there had to be something wrong with it.

 

That's when I really started sleuthing. I ended up in a forum of owners who had cars like it. Did they have stories to tell. Seems this car sometimes stalls when drivers make left turns. A few people had gotten caught in busy intersections with dead cars. No kidding. That's what the owners who actually drive them were tattling. Forget that.

 

So it's back to square one and a Montana for now. Who knows? Maybe my tenants will feel sorry for me.

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