Yesterday while I was busy working on this blog, I looked out my window and saw not one, but two UPS trucks parked across the street from each other.
What was going on?
Apparently two different neighbors were receiving UPS deliveries at the same time. (Please don’t ask me why they couldn’t synchronize it all on one truck).
But it got me to thinking. What was going through my mind was that the other neighborhood which is getting so uppity they planted a tree in the middle of the street. (Real close to former Vice President/Global Warming Expert Al Gore’s house).
Yep, it was a double ugly cedar tree in a giant flower pot. "Traffic-calming", they call it.
There is really no way one UPS truck, much less two, could get through that street. (I wonder if they had thought of that). It’s going to make online shopping a tiddly bit difficult for those folks this Christmas. But hey, there won’t be very many minivans venturing down that street. Well, I can think of at least one.
So now we’ve got traffic-calming, more traffic, angry drivers and more of the same to come in south Nashville. How did all this get to be?
I’ve always been curious about how our [tag-ice]streets[/tag-ice] got laid out in the first place. Especially the ones like Granny White Pike, near my house, that rambles and meanders through hill and hollow. Beautiful, especially in the spring and fall, but not designed to accommodate bumper to bumper SUV’s, BMW’s, and the Mazda B-Series. Throw in a Volkswagen insect or two and you’ve got an auto smack-down worthy of double duty air traffic controllers. Who needs Onstar? Give us radar.
Was I shocked to discover those streets were really designed by… animals.
That’s right. We knew elephants and monkeys were learning how to paint but did we know buffalo could engineer traffic? I guess some people didn’t know we even had buffalo once upon a time. (That explains David Lipscomb University’s bison mascot. Lipscomb is located on Granny White Pike).
According to history, the early game animals were heading to what is now the downtown area where there was a giant salt lick. The buffalo trails were up to four feet wide, hence the narrow future roads, and were worn down as much as two feet below ground level. At least that explains why you can’t pull your Suzuki off to the sides.
As we invest in real estate we need to think about future traffic problems in the neighborhoods where we put our money. If there are problems today, how much worse can it get ten , twenty , fifty years from now? Are there solutions being considered which will actually work? Do your [tag-tec]city planners [/tag-tec] care? Watch this closely.
And next time your neighborhood traffic problems don’t seem to have any plausable explanation whatsoever, perhaps you too can blame it on the buffalo.