What Do Buffalo, a BMW,and an Ugly Cedar Tree Have in Common?

Yesterday while I was busy working on this blog, I looked out my window and saw not one, but two UPS trucks parked across the street from each other. What was going on?


Yesterday while I was busy working on this blog, I looked out my window and saw not one, but two UPS trucks parked across the street from each other. 

What was going on? 

Apparently two different neighbors were receiving UPS deliveries  at the same time.   (Please don’t ask me why they couldn’t synchronize it all on one truck). 


But it got me to thinking.  What was going through my mind was that  the other neighborhood which  is  getting so uppity  they planted a tree in the middle of the street. (Real close to former Vice President/Global Warming Expert Al Gore’s house).

Yep, it was a double ugly cedar tree in a giant flower pot.  "Traffic-calming", they call it.


There is  really no way one  UPS truck, much less two,  could get through that street.   (I wonder if they had thought of that).  It’s going to make online shopping  a tiddly  bit difficult  for those folks this Christmas.   But hey, there won’t be very many minivans venturing down that street.  Well, I can think of at least one.


So now we’ve got  traffic-calming, more traffic, angry drivers and more of the same to come in south Nashville. How did all this get to be?


I’ve always been curious about how our [tag-ice]streets[/tag-ice] got laid out in the first place.   Especially the ones like Granny White Pike, near my house, that rambles and meanders through hill and hollow.  Beautiful,  especially in the spring and fall, but not designed to accommodate  bumper to bumper  SUV’s, BMW’s, and  the Mazda B-Series.  Throw in  a Volkswagen insect or two and you’ve got  an auto  smack-down worthy of  double duty air traffic controllers.  Who needs Onstar?  Give us radar.


Was I shocked to discover those streets  were really designed by… animals. 

That’s right.  We knew elephants and monkeys were learning how to paint but did we know buffalo could engineer traffic?  I guess some people didn’t know we even  had buffalo once upon a time.  (That explains  David Lipscomb University’s  bison mascot.   Lipscomb is located on Granny White Pike).


According to history, the early  game animals   were heading to what is now the downtown area where there was a giant salt lick.   The buffalo trails were up to four feet wide, hence the narrow future roads, and were worn down as much as two feet below ground level.  At least that explains why you can’t pull your Suzuki  off to the sides.


As we invest in real estate we need to think about future traffic problems in the neighborhoods where we put our money.   If there are problems today, how much worse can it get  ten ,  twenty , fifty years from now?   Are there solutions being considered which  will actually work?  Do your [tag-tec]city planners [/tag-tec] care?  Watch this closely. 


And  next time your neighborhood traffic problems don’t seem to have any plausable explanation whatsoever, perhaps you too  can  blame it on the buffalo.     


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